A Little too Late
by xox Moony xox
Summary: Harry and Hermione announce they are getting married out of the blue, and Ron realises there was something he should have told Hermione. Is it too late to change everything or not? Set three years after Hogwarts and from Ron’s POV.


Title: A Little too Late. Author's name: Heather Email: feather@udatt.zzn.com Rating: PG-13/12 for language. Spoilers: Not really anything that can be classed as a spoiler mentioned, I don't think anyway. lol. just to be safe, all of the books. Summery: Harry and Hermione announce they are getting married out of the blue, and Ron realises there was something he should have told Hermione. Is it too late to change everything or not? Set three years after Hogwarts from Ron's POV. Ships: H/Hr, R/Hr, and again a few inklings of H/G. Disclaimer: Don't own a thing (wish I did); J.K. Rowling is of course the wonderful woman who came up with the Harry Potter-verse. Feedback: Of course, got to know what people think, plus this one's in line for a sequel if I get good reviews.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Every second of your life is precious. Every second of your life can change you. The decisions we make shape us for the rest of our lives. If you choose the wrong path it's almost impossible to turn back. Not because you can't, but because you're too modest too. Who'd want the world to know that you screwed up, that you chose the wrong moment to make a decision, or that you said something a little too late? And that is why we don't turn back, too ashamed to show we went wrong. To only spend the rest of our lives in remorse, mourning over one moment, one stupid moment when you didn't say three stupid little words to one very special person.  
  
Life is hard, but you can easily make it even harder for yourself. If you lead a horse to water you cannot make it drink, and these words are true of everything and everyone. If you place a plate of food in front of a homeless person, you cannot force them to eat. If the one person you spend the whole of your life secretly in love with stands in front of you and says that they love you, you cannot necessarily say the words back.  
  
These are moments of confusion, moments of stupidity, moments of which you slowly begin to regret. Especially on the day that that one person lets you know that she's getting married to your best friend in exactly four weeks time.  
  
Pain. Gut wrenching pain.  
  
Then there's the confusion again.  
  
Does it ever stop?  
  
I've asked myself many questions like that, although I can never find the answers.  
  
*Bastard, how could he steal her from me? He knew I loved her.* Of course he knew that, but it didn't stop me thinking it every single day. Why hadn't I told her I loved her when I'd had the chance?  
  
*Dear Ron,*  
  
The letter had begun.  
  
*I have the most amazing news, you'll be glad to know it's all good too. I suppose I should have said before, but Harry and I started dating about four months ago. Bet that's a shock, huh?*  
  
Only slightly. Why would that shock me? I mean you'd only said you loved five months ago.  
  
*Wait though, it gets better. We've decided to get married. The wedding is in exactly a month. Yes, I know, it is rushing a little but we're so in love. I'll make sure Harry sends you an official invitation as well, along with this letter.  
  
Can't wait to see you, please send an owl back.  
  
Love, always and forever.  
  
Hermione xxx*  
  
That was the moment I'd known I'd messed my entire life up, the woman I was in love with was getting married to my best friend, and loved him. The first thing that I felt was hurt. How could she be in love with him? Then I felt jealousy. What did Hermione want Harry for, was he better than I was? Anger. What was Harry doing, he knew I loved her? Then again with the hurt. Doesn't she love me anymore? My heart felt like it had been ripped out and stamped upon, or worse, jumped upon. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I couldn't believe what was happening.  
  
I cursed myself for not saying that I'd loved her when I'd had the chance.  
  
*  
  
It was the first time I'd been alone with her in a long time; she usually spent all her time with Ginny when she came to the Burrow. She walked into my room and leant against the doorframe, then stood there staring at me while chewing on her thumbnail for at least five minutes. I didn't notice she was there until I got up from my desk to go downstairs. I got the fright of my life.  
  
Hermione at nineteen was a complete vision of beauty. She had stood before me, her hazel eyes twinkling in the afternoon sun steaming from my window, her chestnut curls tumbling past her shoulders, her cheeks slightly flushed with a pale pink glow. I loved her, completely and utterly.  
  
"Ron," she whispered as she walked further into the room. "How are you?"  
  
I replied with the usual, that I was fine, then persisted to ask her how she was. It was courteous and the way everyone started conversations. She said that she was good then sat down on the edge of my bed and started talking to me about Harry, about how he was worried of Voldemort rising again. I told her that it wasn't going to happen and that he was gone for good. Of course Hermione had to argue, she always did. After stating her argument she smiled in my direction then whispered.  
  
"Ron, in case he does come back and this is the last time I see you." she paused. "I want you to know, I love you."  
  
I stared at her dumbstruck, my mouth hanging open and my eyes wide. I moved my mouth to reply I was ready to tell her that I loved her too, but the words just wouldn't come. There was doubt in my mind; she was only telling me that because she was scared she was going to die. There was no way Hermione Granger really loved me, after all she was only at the Burrow to visit Ginny, why would she want to tell me that? I shrugged then turned away, moving my eyes to the papers laid on my desk. I heard her sigh, then she left.  
  
*  
  
I dropped my head onto my desk, that moment five months ago was the worst of my life. I didn't see her again after that; I only received the occasional owl. Sighing I looked around the log cabin that contained me at that moment, I was on a retreat, a trip given to me by the Ministry of Magic. I too had ended up working for them just like Percy and my father. I had hoped to be different, play Quidditch or be a champion at Wizards Chess, it was taking a while to achieve my goals.  
  
Anyway the Ministry of Magic had decided I'd needed a break so they'd sent me away for two weeks, it wasn't really a holiday they'd sent me with two piles of paper work, obviously their idea of a break. I laughed then put my hand to my mouth as I signed yet another letter; at least I had the authority to sign things. I had *some* power.  
  
I put down the quill I was holding then rose from the desk, stretching my arms above my head, throwing a glance to the clock on the wall I frowned, it was beginning to get really late. Slowly I made my way to the small bedroom in the cabin. I removed my shoes then changed into my night-clothes and slipped underneath the cool sheets adorning the bed. My thoughts quickly shifted back to Hermione. If I'd told her that I loved her, would she be lying with me now? Would I be holding her to me tightly, giving her all the protection I could. Whispering soft words to her, telling her how much she meant to me, and how she held all the love in my heart. I pulled the sheets around me tightly as I lay in the silence and emptiness surrounding me. I never once sank low enough into the depths of despair to cry about the whole situation, although once or twice I had come close. It killed me to even know she could do this to me, to cause me so much pain and so much hurt through one simple letter.  
  
Closing my eyes I buried my head into the pillow and crossed my arms over my chest, then very slowly I drifted to sleep but not without two hours worth of tossing and turning before hand.  
  
*  
  
When morning came I awoke with a start, I looked over to the window and there sitting on the ledge sat a small, grey, fluffy owl. Pig. It looked as though he was back from taking my reply to Hermione and Harry, and also by the looks of things had brought another letter with him. I clambered from beneath the covers then walked to the window and opened it so that Pig could come in. He darted inside and flew around the bedroom wildly and it took at least five minutes for me to catch him again.  
  
Finally I grabbed him by the leg. "Jeeze Pig, calm it," I said quietly as I untied the roll of parchment from his foot. "What have you got here then? Is it from 'Mione?" as I sat back down on the bed I unrolled the parchment and began to read aloud. "'Dearest Ron. Thank you so much for your kind letter regarding mine and Harry's engagement, we're glad that it makes you happy'," I snorted a little, lies were so much easier on paper. "'I hope that Pig manages to get this to you, he seemed very hyper active when at my apartment, and I'm scared he might fly off to the North Pole or somewhere by mistake'." I looked at Pig, who was now perched back on the windowsill tapping his beak against the glass. "'By the time you get this I should be zipping my way through the floo network to see you, Harry insisted I get used to it, I think your family got him hooked Ron. Anyway, I expect I'll see you very soon. Don't go lighting any fires, you know singed hair has never been a flattering look. Love always, Hermione'."  
  
I put the letter down on the bed and smiled slightly, until realisation sunk in. Hermione was on her way and right now. Jumping up I raced for the bathroom and pulled open the door to the shower and turned in on, a jet of ice cold water shot out managing to spray my face, I shivered a little the turned the dial to get the temperature right. Leaving the water running I got undressed, throwing my night-clothes into a pile in the corner, then stepped into the rush of warm water. I smiled as the water trickled over my skin and steam surrounded me, I already felt awake, all I needed now was something to eat and I'd be-  
  
"RON? ARE YOU HERE?"  
  
My eyes shot to the bathroom door, which I'd left open in my hurry to get ready. Hermione was in the cabin, she was walking around and I was in the shower, naked. I started to panic. I turned off the jet of water and stepped out of the shower grabbing hold of a huge fluffy white towel and wrapped it around my waist. "Be there in a minute," I called back as my heart started to beat so hard it hurt.  
  
Making sure the towel was secure I stepped out of the bathroom and into the corridor then walked into the main room. Hermione was stood with her back to me examining the fireplace. I smiled as I watched her; she looked gorgeous even from the back. Her usual frizzy hair was contained in a French plait and she was wearing a knee length pink flowery sundress. I stepped closer, resisting the urge to just run over and pull her to me, kissing her passionately.  
  
"'Mione?" I whispered softly.  
  
She spun around a little startled then smiled brightly at me; she lifted her hand and brushed a stray strand of her hair from her eyes. It hurt me to look at her, I loved her so much, and I couldn't have her. No, it was my best friend that got that honour. To hold her when she was afraid. To kiss away her tears when she was upset. To revel in her smile when she was happy.  
  
Before she got a chance to say anything I quickly blurted out. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Harry getting ready for the big day?"  
  
"Why? We have three weeks yet." she sounded positively calm and way too cheery, it nauseated me. "I mean everything's going so well, everything's to schedule, and on time. My dress was ready a week ago as well as Ginny's," she was counting everything she said on her fingers. "My cousin's doing the flowers, she's a florist, I don't know if I ever told you that."  
  
I shook my head. Why was she telling me all this?  
  
"Then the cake - oh gosh, Ron, you'll love the cake. It looks so, so good!" she grinned over at me then stepped closer, her hand reaching out to touch my cheek. "You haven't changed a bit."  
  
"It's only been five months," I reminded her.  
  
"That long?" asked Hermione as she traced her fingers across my face. My skin tingled - with a sensation I can only place as amazing - wherever her touch fell. I closed my eyes as she continued to examine me with her powder pink painted nails. Her fingers worked their way into my hair. "Your hair's grown. You haven't cut it?"  
  
What was the point? I didn't have anyone to impress anymore.  
  
"I like it," she continued, "it suits you longer."  
  
My body shivered as her fingers traced down the back of my neck and encircled my shoulders, she laid her head on my chest and stayed silent. She expected me to say something, but I was lost for words. Just having her there touching me like that was enough for me to live on. I listened carefully to her breathing as she continued to explore my back with her hands. I wasn't quite sure why she was doing it, then again I didn't care, I liked it and that was all that mattered to me. In fact I liked it too much, I could feel my body starting to react to her sensual touch.  
  
Pushing her away quickly I turned from her and started for the bedroom. "I'll get dressed, I'll be. umm, back in a minute."  
  
I heard her voice from the main room as I stepped into the bedroom, asking if I was all right. I sunk down to sit on the floor by the bed; my hands were trembling as I brought them to my face, lowering my head into my hands to conceal my pain. I bit my lip hard in the effort to stop myself from crying, her being there was more difficult than I ever thought it would be. I couldn't answer her; my voice would be too shaky. I didn't get chance to answer her though as she appeared at the doorway, slowly she moved into the room and crouched down beside me.  
  
"Ron," she said softly, "baby, is everything OK? You know you can tell me anything." she said as her hand grazed my arm with smooth stroking motions. "Is this to do with Tessa?"  
  
Tessa.  
  
Hermione would think it was to do with her, after all she didn't know who I really loved. After I had stupidly not told Hermione that I loved her I'd dated Tessa for a while, there had been nothing between us, except of course the sex, that was something I suppose. That was all mine and Tessa's relationship had been based on, a pure unadulterated physical relationship. Hermione being of the female gender would think it had been about love, and unfortunately to no avail so had Tessa. When I thought about it, it had been unfair using Tessa like that. I'd broken up with her and told her to go and get some practice in the bedroom department, this was at the same time Ginny had told me that Harry and Hermione had been spending a lot of time together. Of course I was curious to know why, but I hadn't found that out until two months later.  
  
"It's not about *fucking* Tessa, why does everybody always think that?" I scrambled to my feet to escape Hermione's touch and she stared at me, her eyes wide.  
  
"But, Ron. you love-"  
  
"No, Hermione! I have never loved Tessa, didn't then, don't now!" My voice had come out louder than I'd wanted and I saw her flinch at my harsh words. But still she got to her feet and walked towards me, I carried on talking to take my mind away from the beautiful woman in front of me. "I don't see why Ginny got it into her thick head that Tessa and I were 'in love', and absurdly that we wanted to get married and had planned on starting a family. I never even thought that once, probably Tessa's words in all her clingy glory," I spat and turned away from Hermione once again.  
  
Hermione was silent for a moment until I heard her draw a breath. "You're telling me you didn't have *any* feelings for her?" she questioned.  
  
That was a tricky question, I thought it over a moment before replying. "No, only those feelings you get when you're about to be violently sick!"  
  
"*Ron*!" she cried. "Don't lie to me! How can you say that about her? The way you used to behave around her, I never saw two people who looked more in love than-"  
  
"I *never* loved her!" I shouted spinning back to face her. "So don't try and tell me that I did. I think I would know, so thanks ever so much for attempting to correct me, but I'm sorry it hasn't worked this time, I'm not going to give in to Miss Bossy Granger yet again!"  
  
She stared at me blank faced for a while then brought her hand to her mouth as she suppressed a sob; her eyes went glassy as they welled up with tears. "How *dare* you," she growled. "How dare you say that to me! What gives you the right to even think you can! Now I know you never cared about me, or anyone else for that fact. you're just ungrateful, and that's it, pure and simple," she shook her head several times before advancing on me again. Her face was flushed with anger, the problem with that being it enticed me more, and I'd always loved arguing with her.  
  
"I'm ungrateful?" I asked her as I backed into the door. "How many times did I help Harry save your life? Did you ever think to thank me once? No, it was always about Harry. you were always thanking Harry, and hugging him, and kissing him, and telling him how wonderful he was. The amount of times, Hermione, that I laid my life on the line for you, the amount of times I nearly died." I took a deep breath as my voice started to shake. "I was always there by Harry's side, helping him. and you think I'm ungrateful? I think you've misjudged Miss Granger, or should I call you Mrs Potter?"  
  
"Don't," hissed Hermione as she glared at me. "Don't be so petty."  
  
I shook my head raising an eyebrow, as I laughed dryly. "I'm really not being."  
  
"I just don't believe this. I came here to - to check you got the invite and that you're going to be able to get there OK, and-"  
  
"Well it was a waste of your time then," I said as I pulled open the bedroom door. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get dressed, we can continue this afterwards."  
  
Hermione got to her feet and stomped across the room pushing past me boisterously. "Fine," she muttered as her hand caught the door handle. She threw one last glance to me before slamming the door as hard as she possibly could.  
  
I stared at the empty room and a smile worked its way across my mouth gradually, I was buzzing with adrenaline, the same way I always felt after a fight with Hermione. I suppose it was fair to say I got off on it, definitely better than a night with Tessa that was for sure. Making my way to the wardrobe I took out a navy blue shirt and a pair of stone washed jeans, I wasn't going to bother impressing her now. I dropped the towel to the wooden floor then stalked across the room to the chest of drawers and took out a pair of boxer shorts, I slipped them on, and then grabbed hold of my jeans putting those on also. Lifting the shirt from the bed my eyes drifted slowly to the mirror, my face was glowing with the residue of a blush, but my hair was tangled and hung across my forehead raggedly. I growled under my breath then ran my hands through it, my fingers colliding with several knots as I did so.  
  
A sigh escaped my mouth as I tugged the shirt on, when it was residing in a somewhat tidy fashion on my shoulders, but still unbuttoned, I headed back towards the main room. Stepping out of the corridor slowly my eyes locked on her back, she was pacing the length of the room occasionally throwing a glance to the pictures on the walls. Her body was shaking a little and I knew she was holding back tears.  
  
"What do you mean it was a waste of my time?" she whispered timidly, taking her eyes to gaze upon me.  
  
My face fell, there were the remains of wiped away tears on her cheeks, and her bottom lip was trembling. All of the anger I'd built up during our argument dissolved as I neared her. "Oh God, Hermione. I'm sorry, I was angry, I didn't know what I was saying."  
  
"You were angry?" she laughed lightly. "How can you say that? You know how much I love Harry. how much I. how much I care for you. Why would you say that to me?"  
  
"It was heat of the moment, you have to believe that. I would never." I stopped, I wasn't going to lie to her again. Sinking down to sit on the sofa I dropped my head into my hands in the hope that if I stayed like that long enough she'd just leave.  
  
There was a long silence until she spoke again. "I really do love Harry, I suppose back at Hogwarts you never would of thought it happening, but that's the way the world turns. He's such a great guy-"  
  
"And what? You want me to congratulate you and say how happy I am?" I mumbled, head still in hands.  
  
"Well, why wouldn't you?" she said softly.  
  
"God," I laughed and looked up at her in amusement. "You really have no idea, do you? You're just too blind for your own good."  
  
"What. what do you mean?"  
  
I glared at her, forcing myself not to shout again, then said as calmly as possible, "Just go, Hermione, I'll be at your wedding." My hands started trembling again and I quickly put them together. "I'll be there congratulating you, and handing you presents, and smiling in all the pictures. just God, just leave me alone until then. Will you, please?"  
  
She looked at me, confusion filling her entire face, she still had no idea. I watched her as she reached for the pot on the mantle shelf; she took it down, removed the lid and took a pinch of floo powder. She looked back at me again. "Three weeks then, and you promise you'll be there?"  
  
"I promise," I replied with a nod.  
  
Hermione nodded in reply then threw the pinch of floo powder into the fire; it glowed green for a moment. She kept her eyes on me for a long time then eventually turned to the fireplace. "Diagon Alley," she said and within seconds she disappeared.  
  
I was alone again in my holiday cabin, the only change being that I loved Hermione more than ever before.  
  
*  
  
I arrived outside the church at exactly midday to find the entirety of my family there as well; I didn't have a clue why no one had told me anything about it. I walked inside and immediately a Muggle approached me. "Bride or Groom?" he said, and I looked at him quizzically. I didn't know, heck, I didn't even know what he meant. Hermione had sent me an owl about two days before the ceremony telling me how they were having a Muggle service, in a Muggle church, with a Muggle Minister, and a. anyway, you get the idea.  
  
So I continued to stare at him, until I heard a loud shout from the right hand side of the church, I looked in that direction to see George waving at me frantically and mouthing something. I stared at him harder and eventually figured out he was saying 'Groom', I glanced back to the Muggle then said. "Groom."  
  
The Muggle nodded then led me down the aisle and to an empty pew; he smiled then walked away again to greet some of the other guests. I edged my way along the pew then sat down, eyes cast downward, as I'd been walking there I'd seen Harry stood at the front. I sat quietly and looked at the hymnbook in front of me, there was also a booklet containing some other songs. This was going to be a nightmare; I didn't know the tune to hymns.  
  
Hearing muttering I looked up to be stared at by Fred and George. I shook my head and put the book back down. "What?"  
  
Fred raised an eyebrow. "Mum was just wondering why Harry didn't make you his Best Man," he tutted slightly. "George and me think it might be something to do with that crush you have on Hermione, didn't tell mum that of course."  
  
"Harry doesn't know, he didn't even know when we were at Hogwarts," I shook my head. "The reason I'm not his Best Man is because. because." then it struck me, I didn't know why. My eyes darted over to look at Harry a frown beckoning to appear on my face. Why the hell was Neville Longbottom stood next to Harry on his wedding day, that should have been me.  
  
"Thought so," I heard George say quietly as they turned back around.  
  
My heart was pounding, I couldn't believe I was angry again, this really had to stop. I clenched my fist then slammed it into me knee to try and vent some of the anger, and it hurt, a lot. "Shit!" I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, I'd just sworn in a church. I glanced around in the hope no one had noticed, but I wasn't that lucky, George turned back to me.  
  
He didn't get chance to say what he wanted though as the bridal march suddenly echoed around us. Everyone's eyes turned to the back of the church, mine included. A moment later Hermione stepped into the aisle and I thought my heart was going to give up on me, as well as my lungs, I suddenly couldn't breathe. Realisation was crashing down around me; I was about to lose the one woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.  
  
My hands were shaking in fact the shaking was working it's way across my whole body as everyone rose to standing. I couldn't get up; I was to the fixed to spot. I could hear George muttering my name in the attempt to get me to stand up but my attention was firmly fixed upon Hermione.  
  
She was walking down the isle very slowly so I got to take in every minuet detail of how she looked, I guessed that was the reason she was walking so slowly anyway. Her hair was smoothed out slightly and fell across her shoulders in ringlets, there was tiara placed upon her head encrusted with diamonds and pearls, and I could see tiny shimmering bits placed about her hair. She wasn't wearing a lot of makeup; she didn't need to in my opinion to look beautiful. I continued to watch her, the ivory wedding gown she was wearing fitted her perfectly and enhanced her curves more than I thought possible, it fell past her ankles in deep folds along with glittering lace. On her feet she was wearing ivory coloured slippers, which glittered and sparkled when they fell under the right amount of light.  
  
I'd never wanted her before as much as I did in that instant.  
  
"Ron," George growled. "Get your ignorant butt up off that seat now."  
  
"I can't," I growled back. "Having trouble moving right now."  
  
George rolled his eyes then grabbed the back of my jacket and literally hauled me off the seat; I grabbed hold of the back of his pew to steady myself, my legs were about to give way on me any second.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he whispered as he glared at me again.  
  
"I'm about to lose Hermione, what do you think is wrong with me!" I snapped at him then pushed his arms away from me.  
  
Hermione was now halfway down the aisle, and right in front of my pew, she looked over at me and smiled shyly. I didn't know what to do, but I smiled back even though my mind was racing, trying to think of a wild plan to stop the wedding. I couldn't lose her, not now. My eyes drifted to Ginny, who was walking behind, for a split second. She seemed to look sad especially when she locked eyes with me.  
  
Then she mouthed something to me. 'You have to do something, I know you love her.' It was then I remembered that Ginny had a crush on Harry. This had to be killing her as much as it was me. I looked to George again then said quietly. "I need your help," he looked at me, as did Fred. "Yours too."  
  
Fred nodded sternly. "What do ya need?"  
  
I glanced to the floor a moment. "We need to stop the wedding, or at least buy me some time."  
  
"Well why didn't you just say so," George grinned at me and patted my back. "It's all gonna turn out OK Ronniekins, don't fret."  
  
I almost laughed at that, but controlled myself as I looked to Hermione, she'd almost reached Harry now, and he was looking at her like a lovesick puppy dog. "Any time now will do," I said, my voice sounding rather desperate, oh well, I was desperate I didn't care. I closed my eyes and clasped my hands together then began my silent prayer.  
  
It was a few moments later when I realised one of the twins had done something, there seemed to be screaming coming from the Bride's side of the aisle, as I looked up I saw one of Hermione's relatives jump up and into her husbands arms. "Get it away," she shrieked. "John, do something!"  
  
I bit my lip to contain my laughter and watched as the whole church exploded into uproar, shouts and screams were coming from all over, mostly people shouting, 'rat!' A minute later I heard Harry shouting something at the front of the church, I wasn't sure what it was but it caused Hermione and Ginny to stop in their tracks, the bridal march to end on a duff note, and for Harry to run off to somewhere.  
  
"Now is your chance Romeo," Fred said to me quietly as a grin spread across my face.  
  
I walked out of the pew slowly then down the aisle to where Hermione was stood; I caught her by the arm then said quietly. "Can I have a word?"  
  
"Now?" she looked at me exasperated.  
  
For a moment I almost backed out, then I remembered why I was doing this. "It really can't wait 'Mione."  
  
She moved her mouth to say no, but then nodded her head and walked with me to the vestry. When I shut the door behind us she turned back to me. "This better be important Ron, if it's not. I'll kill you." I didn't believe that even though she sounded genuine.  
  
It took me a moment before I could speak, too busy ogling at her, it was impossible not to though she looked truly amazing. "You look beautiful," I gestured to her and said as a way to start the conversation.  
  
Hermione blushed a little and moved a curl of her hair from her eyes. "Thank you. You're the first one to tell me that who matters."  
  
*I matter?* I thought as my heart started to race again. My breath was starting to become heavy, coming in jagged and painful gasps.  
  
"Ron?" Hermione asked as she stepped towards me. "Are you OK?"  
  
"No, not really," I replied. "There's this thing that I need to tell you and I'm not sure if it will change anything or not, but I guess it's worth a try."  
  
"What?" her voice was gentle as she looked at me with her glittering eyes.  
  
"I'm in love with you, completely and utterly, and I have been for five years straight. When I look at you. it's like I. I can't breath, and all I want to be doing is touching you," I paused and took a long and steady deep breath. "When you told me that you loved me I was just scared and I really tried to say it back to you. I don't think anyone can understand what I was feeling, but I've regretted it ever since. And yes I know you're in love with Harry, the part is that I don't understand why you are."  
  
"What?" she shook her head and her eyes started to widen. "How can you question my feelings for Harry on my wedding day of all times?"  
  
"I'm not questioning your feelings, I'm-"  
  
"Yes you are Ronald Weasley, you just said you didn't understand how I could be in love with Harry. blatant questioning," she shook her head again as her eyes dropped down to look at the floor.  
  
I sighed, this wasn't going how I'd hoped it would, I was about to lose her. "Hermione I'm not, it's just that you got involved with him so soon after-"  
  
"After what!" she snapped. "We were never in a relationship, Ron, or didn't you notice? Because I did, I cried for weeks over that. I'd come out with my deepest feelings to you and all you did was shrug, I sat there wondering why you didn't love me back, thinking there was something wrong with *me*, putting myself down hour after hour for a week straight. then Harry came along and everything got better."  
  
"I didn't realise you felt like-"  
  
"Well you wouldn't, you're a guy everything has to be about yourself. If you really did love me, why didn't you tell me? Why now? Why on the day that's meant to be the happiest of my life? Why do you have to ruin my happiness?" her voice started to shake violently then the tears started, rolling down her cheeks one after the other. She bit her lip and wiped her cheeks a little. "God! I'm crying over this! Thanks Ron, you made me cry on my big day."  
  
I looked down as my hands started to tremble again, how could I have done that to her? I'd just ruined her life. again. "Hermione." I began, but stopped, I didn't know what to say now.  
  
"I mean *what* were you thinking? Or weren't you? Was your great male ego just urging you on. were you thinking," she put on a macho voice, "'hey yeah, I'm gonna get laid tonight, bring on the babe', of all people Ron, I never thought you would do this to me."  
  
"I never meant to. to hurt you, that wasn't the idea. I just." I trailed off.  
  
"Ron please, don't. don't say anymore," she stepped right up close to me and looked me in the eyes a moment before place a single tender kiss upon my lips, it was over before it had begun. "I love you Ron, never forget that." she whispered then brushed past me and walked out of the vestry and back into the church.  
  
I stayed perfectly still, holding onto what had just happened. I brought my fingers to my lips in the attempt to keep the heat from her kiss. But I couldn't smile. I knew she'd gone out there to continue with the wedding, my words hadn't had any effect, only that she knew when she'd confessed her love to me that I had felt it too.  
  
Sighing I turned around and walked back into the church, everything was calm once again, Harry and Hermione were talking quietly to the Minister. I made my way back to my seat and sat down slowly, Fred and George were looked at me expectantly, and I ignored them as the service began.  
  
It seemed to take forever for them to exchange their vows, and I found myself sinking into a deeper and deeper state of depression. That was only until the Minister said the line every couple regretted. My eyes locked with Hermione's as she turned back to look at the church, there was doubt, it was only very faint but I could see it. My heart was thundering, echoing in my head, and it was painful. This was the moment I could jump up out of my seat and declare my love the whole congregation if I wished. I didn't though, I wanted to leave it to Hermione, it was all up to her. Soon the rings were in the Minister's hand and Harry was saying more vows, I decided there we too many vows in Muggle ceremonies. Harry slipped the wedding band onto Hermione's finger and I felt a little twinge in my heart. She took the other ring from the Minister and started to say the relevant vows.  
  
"With this ring I do thee wed. and I." I watched carefully as her breath caught, her hand was poised and she was staring at the ring she held in her fingers. "I." she started again. "You." her eyes widened and she dropped the ring to the floor with a loud clatter, she then looked down at it biting her lip, before removing the ring on her finger. "I'm so sorry Harry, but I can't," she handed the ring to him then turned away and walked back up the aisle.  
  
As she passed me she gave me a weak look, but I couldn't even bring myself to do the same. Harry was stood at the front of the church, his face expressionless and unreadable. That was it, I didn't care, I was going outside after her. As soon as she disappeared through the doors I jumped over the back of my pew, into the aisle, and ran out of the church. "'Mione?" I shouted after her, she was already half way down the driveway.  
  
Hermione spun back to face me and stared. "Ron?" she said eventually.  
  
I carried on walking towards her, passing by her shoes and her tiara, which she'd pulled off roughly as she'd been walking. I saw as a smile graced her features and she ran towards me, tears were steaming down her cheeks when she threw herself into my arms.  
  
"Oh God, Ron, oh God." she whimpered.  
  
I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me tightly stroking her hair, I could hear her sobs as if they were my own, and in fact I was certain they might have been. I looked up to the sky as she buried her head into my shoulder grasping at my arms tightly, it hurt, but I knew that it was worth it. "It's OK, 'Mione. everything is going to be OK."  
  
"I can't go home tonight." she whispered and looked up into my eyes. "My mum will kill me."  
  
"You have your own apartment though, don't you?" I asked looking at her a little confused. I was sure she did, I remembered her mentioning it.  
  
"Yeah, but Harry. he. he moved in last week, I can't go back there Ron. I can't." her eyes threatened to spill over with tears again and I quickly walked her down the rest of the driveway. She rested her head on my shoulder as we walked down the road.  
  
I glanced down at her and continued to stroke her hair. "I'll let you stay at mine. but it's only tonight."  
  
"All right, thank you."  
  
*  
  
Hermione walked into my flat ahead of me, her gown was now muddy and ripped at the bottom, she didn't care though. When I'd walked through the door I shut it behind me and watched her looking around, she'd never been to my flat before, so it was kind of strange.  
  
Several minutes later she turned back. "Umm, shower?" she asked softly.  
  
I smiled then led her through the main room and up the corridor then I pointed to the left. "Bathrooms right there, take a bath if you want to. I'll sort you something out to sleep in. there might be a couple of Tessa's things lying around still, so I'll have a search."  
  
Hermione nodded. "Thanks," she smiled again then walked into the bathroom and shut it behind her.  
  
Turning around I walked into my bedroom then got down on my knees in front of the chest of drawers. I pulled open the middle one and riffled through the pile of shirts until I came across a fairly smaller black one, in fact when I pulled it out I realised it was a T-shirt. "This'll do," I muttered to myself and placed in onto the bed behind me. Getting back up I went over to the wardrobe and pulled open the doors, I searched through the many shirts, sweaters, jeans, and jackets. "Come on Tessa, you could have left something here. I mean you stripped off enough times." I shook my head then my hands collided with a small vest top, I pulled it out and looked at it, the words 'Number 1 Bitch' were scrawled across the front of it. "OK no," I tossed it onto the floor then got down on my knees and rummaged through the heap of fallen clothes on the base of the wardrobe. More of my shirts, even an old pair of shorts, then I found it, a summer dress which belonged to Tessa it was almost identical to the one Hermione had worn when she'd visited me at the cabin three weeks ago, only in blue.  
  
I smiled to myself as I got back to my feet, I folded the dress up and placed it next to the T-shirt, it looked out of place on the unmade bed, I sighed a little then walked out of the room and to the kitchen and put the kettle. I'd got out of the habit of using magic for everything, in fact near enough everything I did was Muggle based now, it had been living with Tessa, she'd never even known I was a wizard.  
  
Stepping into the living room I sat down on the sofa grabbing hold of a cushion and hugging it against my chest tightly, the flat was deadly silent except for the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, she'd decided on a shower then. My mind was racing yet again, Hermione was in my flat and she was naked, then again five minutes before she'd been in my flat in a wedding gown. I shook my head and kicked my shoes off before putting my feet up on the sofa. Closing my eyes I tried to calm my thought train down a little.  
  
"Ron?" I jumped a little and looked at the corridor to see Hermione stood there in my T-shirt. "You were asleep," she told me quietly as she walked into the room and sat on the east chair to my left.  
  
"Oh," I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. "Sorry, I'm just tired. do you want a hot drink?"  
  
Hermione nodded and smiled at me. "That'd be great, what do you have?"  
  
"Well there's the usual," I said as I got to my feet. "Tea, coffee, hot chocolate. uh," I paused as I opened the cupboard over the sink. "Cappuccino?"  
  
"Tea," she said softly sinking lower into the chair. "I had no idea you had a TV Ron, you Muggle you," she sniggered as she looked around the room. "Anything else around here that'll shock me? Radio? Or maybe a computer? Dare I say it. a Playstation!"  
  
I shook my head and laughed slightly as I tossed a teabag into a mug on the counter and poured hot water onto it. "Oh, ha ha, how very droll," I said then picked up the sugar bowl. "Do ya want sugar?"  
  
"Please, two spoons. and milk as well," she peered over the back of the chair at me then turned around and rested her chin on the back. Her hair fell across her face in wet curly tangles, and her face was completely free of makeup again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make fun of you."  
  
I shrugged and took the teabag from her mug then handed it to her. "Careful, it's hot," I told her then took my own mug of coffee and sat back down on the sofa sipping at it a little.  
  
I could feel her watching me, her eyes burning into me like two pieces of coal left in the fire, and then she spoke to me softly. "I can't believe what happened today," she said. "I left Harry stood in the middle of a church looking stupid, it was my wedding day. and I threw it down the drain. do you know why?" I didn't answer her, I stayed silent. "I threw it away because the one person I always wanted to love me, said he did. and I doubted my love for Harry, I mean I'd made him a substitute all this time and it was unfair."  
  
I stared at her and bit my lip as I lowered my eyes to look at the dark liquid in my mug, I moved my hands around the sides of the mug to warm my hands and took a deep breath. "In other words *I* ruined Harry's life."  
  
"Oh, I didn't mean it to sound like that, it came out wrong."  
  
"Yeah, I - I want to sleep. you can have the bed, I'll sleep here," I said getting to my feet and walking down the corridor, I opened the airing cupboard and took out the spare quilt which had been in there and stayed there since I'd moved in. I slung it over my shoulder and trudged back into the main room throwing it onto the sofa.  
  
Hermione looked at me again then slowly got up putting her mug to her lips again and taking a sip, she took it away again and smiled at me. "Goodnight then, I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Night," I muttered and sat down pulling the quilt over me and burying my head in the cushions. I couldn't look at her again, it was hurting me, it was what I'd wanted but I felt I'd betrayed my best friend.  
  
*  
  
My eyes shot open to the sound of someone banging on the door, I rubbed my forehead a little before forcing myself up off the sofa and over there to open the door. I undid the two bolts then held the door shut then turned the handle and swung the door open. I was faced with an angry looking Harry who immediately pushed his way past me and into the main room, stalking up and down it like a wild cat. I took my eyes to the watch on my wrist then rubbed my eyes slightly.  
  
"Harry, what the fuck? It's three a.m.." I looked at him a little bewildered as I leant against the doorframe.  
  
He spun back to face me. "Where is she?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Hermione!"  
  
"Don't know," I shook my head and shrugged. "Anyway how the hell should I know where your runaway bride is?"  
  
"What do you mean? Everyone saw you run after her Ron, you were out of that church like lightning."  
  
"OK," I moved from the doorframe but left the door open, I wasn't going to make him feel welcome, after all he'd just woken me up. "This is what's what, Hermione is my friend, just like you are. all I did was go and see if she was all right. After about five minutes she took off again and I have no clue where she went, so get that into your head before you accuse me again," I walked back over to the door and gestured to the hallway outside. "Now could you please leave, some of us have work in the morning."  
  
Harry didn't move, instead he looked at me with a frown. "I can't believe this happened to me."  
  
"That's just the way it is Harry, deal with it," I rolled my eyes and sighed as I crossed my arms over my chest.  
  
He seemed to stare at me then but shook his head and walked out of the door. "I'll see you soon."  
  
"Yeah," I turned round and watched him walk down the corridor. "You can count on it!" Then with that I shut the door and dived back onto the sofa burying myself in the quilt laid out on it.  
  
It took a while to get back to sleep but when I did I slept soundly the rest of the night.  
  
*  
  
As soon as morning came around I made my way to the bathroom and took a shower, then it was into the kitchen to make myself a strong black coffee, and something to eat. Sitting down at the small table tucked away beside the window I looked out of the window upon murky and dull London as I ate. Hermione I'd figured out must have still been asleep after all she'd had a very strange day yesterday, in I fact I think we all had. I sat back in my chair and lifted my coffee mug from the table examining the beginnings on a crack on the bottom of it. Sighing I took and sip and put it back down.  
  
It was at least another ten minutes before I heard any movement in the flat, I looked around to see a tired eyed, once again frizzy haired Hermione emerge from the corridor. She ran a hand through her hair as she walked and sighed over dramatically. "I hate it," she said quietly. "I hate my hair!"  
  
"It's not that bad," I replied and finished off my coffee. "Kettle's just boiled if you want a coffee or anything."  
  
"OK," she walked over to the kitchen unit and set about making herself a drink. "Ron, I think we need to talk. there's probably a few things we're both regretting right now and it's best to get them out in the open."  
  
"'Mione you're making it sound like we had rampant sex on the kitchen table last night or something," I screwed my face up a little as I looked at the table I was sat at.  
  
Laughing Hermione turned around to look at me. "Only you - only you, could say something like that when I'm trying to be serious."  
  
"Hey, that was a serious statement I'll have you know."  
  
"All right, all right," she sniggered. "Would you prefer to be having a discussion about that though?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" I laughed and got up taking my mug and plate to the sink, I nudged her slightly when I reached her then turned the tap on, and squirted some washing up liquid into the bowl. "Gonna help me with the dishes Miss Granger?"  
  
"Of course," she smiled then dipped her hand into the sink then brought it out again covered in bubbles and persisted to push her hand into my face. She laughed and smirked at me. "Dishes," she said before picking up the dishcloth.  
  
"Right," I replied and wiped my face off. "Dishes."  
  
The end. 


End file.
